JUST FOR MEN

Women are often frustrated by the multiple ways pelvic organ prolapse invades their lives. POP symptoms frequently impact intimate relationships. Pain with intimacy, coital incontinence (both urinary and fecal), rectal and/or vaginal pressure, or loss of sexual sensation can disrupt and sometimes destroy relationships. Women suffer in silence with little understanding of what is occurring in their bodies and refrain from sexual activity because of discomfort or embarrassment. The ripple effect to intimate partners is sexual isolation and lack of physical gratification. Sharing this page with an intimate partner may initiate a dialogue about how pelvic organ prolapse impacts your relationship physically and emotionally. A little bit of information can assist couples through frustrating and confusing health related circumstances. As a conversation starter, consider showing this page and video to your intimate partner.

Conversations about why you can’t or don’t want to engage in intimacy are often difficult to initiate. Timing, privacy, location, and atmosphere are important. Never initiate a conversation if you think you may be disturbed by other people. If one partner is having a bad day, hold off initiating the conversation until another time. Supportive tone and words are imperative to engender a comfortable conversation about health and related sexuality issues. It is often helpful to start a casual but intimate conversation by sharing a glass of wine, cup of coffee, or other beverage in a casual atmosphere to build a bridge of understanding regarding partners’ needs and concerns. Consider the following:

1. Women with pelvic organ prolapse often experience incontinence and concerns about leakage during an act of intimacy may prevent them from engaging in intimacy for fear of an embarrassing incident. Open dialogue about this may take the edge off an occurrence and enable couples to be more emotionally prepared for an occurrence. Setting the stage to address this potential by choosing the appropriate location and tooling to address all needs helps reduce stress.

2. Some women with POP experience pain with intimacy. It is important to respect that a woman revealing it's painful to be intimate is telling the truth, not trying to avoid sex in general. Often alternate positions and techniques will enable a couple to experience mutually satisfying intimacy. Experimenting together can reunite a couple by enabling them to explore something new and exciting. Intimacy does not always have to mean intercourse.

3. As the day progresses, gravity has a significant impact on the degree of pain and/or discomfort a women experiences. POP symptoms will get worse as the day goes on, especially for women who stand on the job. Consider experimenting with intimacy in the early part of the day.

4. Lack of sexual sensation can occur with POP; it is valuable for men to recognize that intimacy is frequently desired by women as a way to feel close or connected to her man rather than for the physical sensations experienced. Take the time to make the woman you are intimate with feel loved and special-you'll be surprised at the reaction you get. Yes, most women do want to be held.

5. Be mindful that POP is a physical condition but it also impacts women's lives emotionally and sexually. If a woman says "not tonight honey", she may have back pain, vaginal or rectal pain or pressure, worries about leaking during the act of intimacy, discomfort with or anxiety about being constipated and looking bloated for weeks on end, or may feel like her insides are falling out (because they are). Ask what you can do to make her day easier in a non-sexual way - you may be surprised at how a little help can go a long way toward soothing intimacy conflicts.